I was gonna entitle this Time but.....

Time falls away...


Is it just me, or did this semester go by really fast? I distinctly remember my first semester in Ateneo, with H1N1 and Ondoy already notching off some weeks, feel much much longer. What exactly did I do this semester to feel this way? I've gone through the cycle of days, weeks, and months without holding onto any moment, choosing to let things pass, and by this time, I'm frantically trying to catch the remaining hours without success. Ever since the start of this semester I've been bombarded with problems, offshoots and hangovers of the previous year, new found grievances, and persistent conflicts. The easiest way to deal with them, as I saw it, was to wait for tomorrow. Let the clock ticking away be analogous to your problems fading into obscurity .Wait for a new day, better days. The problem was if tomorrow didn't bring those bright sunrises and peaceful sunsets. The hours pass by fleetingly yet problems were still there keeping up, time flies when you're having fun apparently.






 Let it roll right off your shoulder


Roadblocks and setbacks. Doesn't take much of a genius to realize you're in deep shit. I'm pretty sure I knew what I got myself into at that time, however I failed to act on it. By the time I realized much more so that, day by day,  I was destroying my life, my realization started to turn into self-pity. Why is this happening? This isn't fair. Why is nothing going right in my life? Can I ever do anything about this? It was a very trying time, so you can see how much I wanted to hurry past those times. The only thing I could do was forget about it and just run, away, and wait. However, when I stopped to look at where I was, just that one time, that self-pity turned back into a realization. By the end, nothing bothered me that much. No, don't get me wrong, It's not that I don't think them to be any less problematic, or as pompous as to feel they do not concern me, I just feel that they're not as scary as they used to be. You see, apathy and confidence are two separate things. These roadblocks, these setbacks they become markers of what I'm doing wrong. They scare me into thinking that I'm going down the wrong path, that not a single thing that I have been doing these past months was actually worth it. But, I have gained confidence that I am indeed on the right path. As much as these problems are prevalent this semester, I could honestly say not a week went by without one of these, there were these little slivers that gave me hope and reason. So even after I felt like went by this semester in a haze, I still feel like I've accomplished much, I feel like I've changed. I still feel like I had fun, time flies when you're having fun apparently


Our lives are made by these small hours


It's  funny how I came to a realization that these tiny moments outweigh all the depressing times i have been having. It is simply amazing how a small conversation with a loved-one, or a simple one-minute reunion with someone you miss a lot makes you feel you can take on those countless hours of stress, sadness, and anger. But first, for this to actually happen, you have to wholeheartedly believe in the magic and strength of these moments, it does take a genius to know this, and I can say I was not able to come into this realization alone. I'm sorry if my words end up confusing, I do find them so, I guess my emotions and feelings started tumble on one another. It's just that I'm very excited to share what I've realized. Whenever you feel down, beaten, and scared, you just have to look back. Remember what has given you happiness these past days. When you see these moments, you realize, you believe, that somethings, if not everything, are going you're way. You are in control, you can survive. Those depressing events do happen quite often, but they can't pull you down unless you give them permission to do so. However, let those moments, the ones that give you happiness, the ones you are most proud of, the ones where you can honest say that you feel loved, let those, those small hours, remind you that you are indeed going the right way.


These small hours still remain.