I have to stop being emo. These past posts have been howls at the moon. A paradoxical, an oxymoronic, and ironic shout by a lonesome figure hoping to be heard by wanderers or passersby. Lone wolves are quite disordered. Well actually, I can't stop being emotional since emotions are what makes us humans. There is no one who is completely devoid of emotion, the only difference that people have from each other is how much of that emotion they are willing to share others. It's a decision, a conscientious one, made by a person. Those people who are willing to share more are thought to be emo. There's nothing wrong with that. Though there's something wrong when you yourself don't believe in the decision you've made and then act unsuitably. It's not right, it's sort of cheating.
Lone wolves are awesome. They eat rabbits and kill shit all the time, plus they have wicked teeth. You get to roam around freely, have all the caribou for yourself, and sleep soundly in your own home alone. All of the benefits are monopolized by you and you only. However, the problem here is that, as lone a wolf, you also take on everything by yourself, alone. If you hurt yourself, no one's going to help you. If you pick a fight a bear, no one has your back. If your hungry and too weak to hunt, no one's going to feed you. Plus, you don't have a mate, which must suck, A LOT. Being a lone wolf is a make or break decision, when you decide to be one, it's either you live or you die. You can't go back on your decision. Lone wolves always come from a pack, it's by their own volition to step out of a pack. When they decide they've had enough trying to be a lone wolf and decide to go back, they are not met with open arms (though wolves don't have arms, so I guess open legs), rather they are met with brandished fangs. Thomas Wolfe wrote a book entitled "You Can't Go Home Again", a favourite of my father's, let's just bask in the coincidence.
However, quite pleasantly, people are different from wolves. Humans have that unnatural, yet amazing thing called forgiveness. It doesn't matter what you've done, they will always find it in their heart to help you. Being a lone wolf constitutes answering the call of the wild, you become more feral, more aggressive, less sensible, it's not something healthy for human and wolf alike. That is why wolf packs tend to kill lone wolves, yet people try to tame these lone wolves. As if answering those solemn and lonely cries. The thing is, these lone wolves do, eventually, get tamed. Just the kindness of a person is enough change a wolf into something more docile, more happy with itself from something angry, and filled with misdirected insecurities. Which reminds of this book I read, one of my first, and personal favourites, "White Fang". Which, surprisingly is about a wolf.
This is where I smoothly segue into my book reviews "ahem". Wow, that was smooth. I really miss the society meetings.
"You Can't Go Home Again" sounds more of a song by Simple Plan rather than an example of Classic American Literature, though I assure you the latter is the case. This book inherently talks about decisions. Though it talks about American society, the purpose of living, and the place where one belongs, the underlying note to all these, is the act of making decisions. The book, the character, or Thomas Wolfe rather, likes to dwell on different points, for example, he belabors on life, love, and hope, the existence of these three and the apparent lack of them. He sounds brooding, and acts accordingly, but he is able to move on through decisions, deciding what to do, what he needs to do, and when he needs to do it. Out of all the points made throughout the book, this point hits me warmly.The thing with making decisions is that its the only way to find an answer. What am I doing in my life? Why am I not happy? The best choice of action is to just do something, decide on that, and see if that is correct. The character made a lot of wrong decisions, he dug himself into quite a deep hole. This created many problems for him, the starkest one is how he is left "homeless". Quite figuratively he can't go back home. In the process of trying to succeed in life, he drew the ire of his hometown, his family, his friends. It was through his decision this was made so. He notices that "You can't go back home to your family, back home to your childhood, back home to romantic love,back home to someone who can help you, save you, ease the burden for you, back home to the escapes of Time and Memory." It's brutal, disheartening, depressing, and painful yet it is the truth. Not only for him, but for anyone. Whenever we make a decision, we can never go back on it, we have to suck it up and see what happens after that. However, if what you receive is daunting then make another one, and then another one until what you have is something joyous, delightful, and wonderful. We can't rot and just torment ourselves for what is lost, because what is lost can never be found, yet there are other things we can gain. My dad loves this book, and so do I, it's not only well-written, it also touches on a sensitive topic. I feel somewhat at ease, since I can relate to the character George Weber. The problems he faces are the same problems I face, and the thing is, the most important thing is that he has the solution. Not the answer mind you, but the solution, how to attain the answer, and it's quite simple, just keep moving forward, make decisions...not to belabor the point. I have a little Thomas Wolfe in me.
White Fang is a classic, if you haven't read it, then do so, or at least watch the movie..It has Ethan Hawke in it. It's a must for dog lovers or wolf lovers, it was sort of my gateway drug into loving animals. Anyway, White Fang tells story of the eponymous White Fang, a wild wolf, and how, through human intervention, becomes domesticated, and lead to a happier way of life. The literary opposite to Jack London's first work "The Call of The Wild". This book tells how one, brought up surrounded by violence and hate, thus leading to one's own fractured life, is able to find a place where he rightly belongs, that place ebing one of true happiness rather than torment and sorrow. This book holds a place in my heart, not only because of it's leading to my love for animals but also it teaches me a profound lesson that I always keep on forgetting. Everyone deserves to be happy. The atrocities that White Fang was forced to do were grave sins, his past and present made him into a monster, one who is ferocious, feral, and dangerous. However, it cost the kindness and love of a human to give this monster what it really needed, love. His owner did not care of White Fang's past or present, if he was wild or ferocious, he just saw sadness and regret in White Fang's eyes, which was enough for him to try to bring happiness to the poor dog. It gives me hope, that even if I'm doing harm to the people I care about or to myself, there will always be someone who can, who would want to save me. White Fang never thought of himself as deserving yet he was. These are things that one needs to remember throughout one's life. The kindness of humans reaches no bounds.
These two books share a common thought, which is the sterngth of Humans. Problems can always be solved either through one's own merits or another's kindness. Which is essential for anyone trying to live. Please give these two books a chance, I promise you won't regret reading one of them. I hope i have time to re-read them again. I could use some guidance in my life. At least, from what I remember, for all the problems I have, I have a solution. I'll just make my decision, hoping it would be for the best. If this decision is found to be wrong, digs me my own deep hole, I hope, I believe rather, that there would be people willing to give me a helping hand out of it.
P.S.
watch Balto, it is BEYOND awesome :D
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