I dream.

A wise man once said that dreams come from the past not from the future and that one should control their dreams not the other way around. But I'm sure, I am sure, there are times you just feel that you are lost in a dream, endlessly wandering, or pointlessly following, a victim, a player, a spectator to the machinations of the sleeping mind, as such I pose this question to this wise man--who then is the ruler of our dreams?

Seldom have I felt the pervasive quality of a dream, one that truly haunts your entire being as soon as you open your eyes. Sure I've had nightmares and metaphorical or literal manifestations of my desires, but all of them leave me with a slightly bitter aftertaste that slowly fades once reality supplants itself over the dream. What I'm talking about is a dream that bequeaths a rancor, you don't know to whom or why, you just feel it, as if your dream has made itself a reality, as if your mind has breathed life into it, as if you are still dreaming. Seldom have I felt this, though recently I did, it's not something I want to experience again.

Honesty

"I like you."

'I like you also..."

"Oh,"

"But...I'm not sure if I want a relationship right now."

"Oh..."

"Yup, I'm sorry. Could you wait until I know that I want a relationship?"

"Well honestly, if I'm going to wait...I'd rather wait for someone else."

Flustered.

If i get this anxious when I subtly ask her out...I might actually die of a heart-attack if ever I do confess to her.

I should be past this phase already.

Easy.

that was...unique. If there was one word to describe that day it would be "nostalgic". Not that, I don't usually spend my time reminiscing, i do quite often actually, it's just there something different this time around. Might be the air, the people, or the painfully sweet brownie. I don't know exactly. The only thing I do know was that there was something that clicked inside me.

Time capsules aren't the most innovative things, but I'm really thinking of investing on one.

Karaoke

Taken into context, it's not a bad thing. But when you start to pick it apart, it gets so depressing.You peel back all the layers and get down to the inside. But sometimes you lose sight of what you were trying to find. It's that sort of thing that makes you think too much. That sort of thing that makes you lose all your objectivity.

So, if you made it. Just be glad you did and stay there. If you ever feel loved and needed, consider yourself as one of the lucky ones. And if it is over, remember that it was bound to happen. So just keep moving on, there are no perfect endings.

Awkward.

"Yes or No, iinom ako" - Mario Narciso A. Marcelo 2012

Well, I can honestly say I have never felt so nervous as I am right now. To a point that I'm constrained to blogger to express my emotions, since she can see me in twitter and in facebook. Now, you might ask me why I'm posting online if I don't want other people to see. Well, to answer that, I don't really think anyone would read this. I just like to write to relieve my feelings. I write when I'm sad, depressed, or angry. I create my stories, little movies in my head, or heart-wrenching one-liners. However, as of right now, I'm writing for different purposes. I remember one close friend telling me that "sometimes we find that the meaning of writing is opposite of what we intend." As this is the case, where i don't write because of any ill torment or evil, rather I think i'm writing for something lighter. Anxiety. Well technically anxiety is something bad, but the way I look at it, it's something bitter-sweet. A marriage between hope and dread, a melding of expectation and renunciation, the being of one of happiness and regret. Sort of like asking someone out for the first time.........yup, exactly like that.

P.s.
My my, blogger has changed a lot. I am confused. hahaha